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OVERCOMING MYSELF: The over-planner in me

by | Oct 10, 2018 | writing

Ever feel like you’ve got too many plates spinning? Then you think…I just need to get organized! And, down the road, you get a little more organized, and a little more… No? Just me?

Anyone ever feel like your organization is causing you to be overwhelmed?

It was for me. I am uber-organized. And I mean it! It’s not a bad thing…until you take it to extremes.

I had/have the perfect planner, the right binders (yes, you heard me right binderS) to organize all the major areas of my life – social media and blogging, home life, writing and research…you name it!

The planner…oh my word…my planner! I got onto the downloadable planner concept…where I could take what I liked from here, or there, add my own created sheets when I couldn’t find quite the one I was looking for, then take the thing to an Office place and have them spiral bind it. Mind you, I could only manage a three month stack at a time. And it was a nice thick planner. Goal setting, bucket list, party planning, writing and plotting sheets, week and month layouts…I’m getting goose-bumps just typing this.

But it was too much.

I was hyper-organized.

I planned every day, every minute.

There was no room for truly relaxing (though I planned in time for it). Who can make relaxing happen at 2:30-2:45 on Monday when there’s 10 more things on your “to do” list? Scheduling relaxing? Not that you shouldn’t plan a block of time for relaxing…but 15 minutes…come on! What was I thinking?

I needed rest. Soul rest. The kind that is deep and meaningful. The kind of rest where you sit with the Lord and just be.

So, I surrendered my carefully charted, carefully laid out system to the Lord.

And it hurt.

It still hurts.

Every.

Day.

Maybe that’s what “dying to myself” looks like right now.

Will I go back to my system?

I don’t know. But right now, I am focusing on being sensitive to the Lord and what He is asking of me.

And He wants me to be still.

Rest in Him.

And let go.

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Sara R. Turnquist