What does that title mean exactly? I mean grief and grieving are as old as the world, right? From the minute Adam and Eve lost their son Abel to his murderous sibling’s anger, there has been grief.
Wait…take that back. Perhaps even one could say from the moment sin entered the world, the open communion with God was broken, man had to toil for food, and woman had great pain in childbirth (come on, ladies, you hear me). Perhaps that was when grief entered the picture.
But certainly not when it showed up at my door.
Yet, that is exactly what I am telling you.
Your grief is unique. Your pain is not only real, it is different than any pain anyone has felt.
As much as it is the same.
One of the things that I absolutely abhor that we do to ourselves, is that we rationalize our emotions….especially our pain and grief.
“there are worse things” “I’m not as bad off as ”
“I should be grateful for what I have”
The fact that others may have it worse, does not (listen to me), DOES NOT diminish YOUR experience of YOUR pain.
The fact that there are many good things in your life does NOT diminish the hurt you feel over your LOSS even as much as these blessings may comfort you. And I firmly believe that our God is big enough and understanding enough to give you that: space for your grief all the while knowing that it does not mean you aren’t also grateful for His goodness.
Your pain is your pain.
It is important that you give yourself the space, time, and moments to sit in your grief. To lean into your grief even. If you stuff and deny it…it will create a bitterness that eats you up.
And remember, God understands loss…perhaps better than we realize. He gave His only Son. Turned Him over to die a criminal’s death. God turned His back on His suffering Son while He died, forsook Him. So, God has experienced that kind of pain.
I say this, not so you will compare your pain. Please don’t. But to encourage you that He does get it.
In your realm and breadth of experience, you have your set of emotions. To what extent you have known loss is unique to you. Don’t discount your knowledge of it and feelings because you think you shouldn’t feel that way or that you should “be over it by now”. Or anything else that someone else tells you. Let you be you. Deal with it as it comes to you. And know that you are coming to a place of “new normal”…not trying to return to the way things were. That life is gone. Yet another reason to mourn.
Come to grips with new normal as you are able.
And find peace. In your time.