So, where was I? Oh yes, the Behavioral Health Hospital. (PART 1)
There are many depictions of these kinds of institutions on television and in movies. But NOTHING had prepared me for what was actually in store for me. Imagine that you are stripped of everything: the bag you packed, your cell phone (actually any connection you have to the outside world), anything on your person the staff may deem as being a threat to you (belts, strings, wires (ladies, you know what I’m talking about)).
So, you don’t have anything but the clothes (at least some of them) on your back and you are ushered to a room that has everything bolted down and a bathroom with a curtain for a door. Oh, and a roommate who may or may not understand what you are going through. That first night I cried myself to sleep.
But God met with me in that place.
He said, “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)
And I knew…I knew that He was with me and had been with me. That the darkness had so enveloped me that I just couldn’t see Him. But He was there, enduring every moment with me.
It was not that I found Him when I was “ready”… He met me at the point of my greatest need
Thus began my journey of recovery, my journey out of depression.
It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t quick. But I wasn’t alone.
And I learned many lessons.
I learned to walk by faith, not by sight. To trust that He would light that next step even if it wasn’t lit when I took this step.
I learned that in those wilderness and desert places, He would help me dig a well and fill it with Living Water.
I learned how important it was to take my thoughts captive, to drag those intrusive thoughts into the light where they lost their power over me.
I learned that sometimes medication and counseling are necessary parts of God’s work.
And so much more.
I also discovered in the years that have followed that the well He helped me dig is available for those that walk those desert places. That I have that Living Water available to bring even a little refreshment to others who are struggling in those places.